In April, 1995, one month after my forty-fifth birthday, I was diagnosed with small cell adenocarcinoma of the lung. Stage IV. My cancer had metastasized to my liver, pancreas, abdomen, and lymph system, and my prognosis was very poor.

As a practicing registered nurse since 1971, I knew how ominous my future appeared. My options included experimental "trial" chemotherapy, surgery, and radiation, all of which were considered palliative since my disease was so widely progressed.

I chose to have the abdominal mass removed since it was growing so quickly. After a second opinion, I elected to participate in the "trial" chemotherapy, which included five or six treatments. Following the first treatment, I lost one third of my weight in a period of 3 weeks.

A second treatment was not an option. At this point, my primary care physician offered me an opportunity to investigate alternative healing. For as long as God allows me to remain here on earth, I will be grateful to this physician for his openness to complementary methods.

By this time, my condition had rapidly deteriorated and my sister had taken charge of caring for me- She contacted Francois Roland, a macrobiotic counselor in the Cleveland area where I live, and he came to my home. Observing my face and the palm of my hands, Francois asked questions related to diet. I will never forget the words he said to me," You could be healed."

Francois did not promise a miracle cure, but he did give me hope. I listened to every word he said. I embraced the philosophy of being responsible for my own healing and again and again replayed his words-"you could be healed"-in my head.

Hospice was very much a part of my life at this time. I was using oxygen; I needed pain medication, cough medication, a wheelchair, and a shower chair; and I had signed my DNR (do not resuscitate) papers. I had told my two teenage sons that I would die and they were not to call 911 if I should stop breathing. The hospice nurses and social workers were wonderful in helping me. I didn't realize how much forgiving I needed to do-of others and myself. I now know forgiveness is a big step in healing.

My parents came from Florida to be with me- I wanted to die in my own home, and they had every intention of staying until the end which we felt would be quick. My sister and eight of my dearest friends stared cooking for me. (Even my ex-husband was supportive and participated in the meal preparation.) Francois returned to my home and gave a cooking class to this group as well as my physician. My sister completely gutted my kitchen of anything that remained of the Standard American Diet. She filled it with whole grains, beans, organic vegetables, sea vegetables, bancha twig tea, umeboshi plums, and macrobiotic cookbooks.

Looking back, I think the main cause of my problems was cheese. I was obsessed with cheese. Not a day passed when I didn't eat it. I loved cheese omelets, I enjoyed cheese on hamburgers, and added cheese to all my vegetables. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, after aerobics class, I would come home and eat cheese and crackers. I was a cheese-a-holic.

My healing was very basic. Today I believe that the dietary fast that was induced by the chemotherapy treatment and the basic healing diet were both a great advantage in allowing my body to rid itself of toxins.

I had several episodes of discharge. First of all was a terrible odor of my skin and body. As a nurse, I knew the smell the body takes on when it approaches death- I feared that this was what was happening to me. I called my counselor and he recommended I start doing a body scrub- It was unbelievable what happened. As I scrubbed my body, a tan-colored film was present on the washcloths. This smell and film continued for almost 8 weeks.

Now my skin is clear and as soft as when I was 18. The second discharge consisted of thick white mucus from my throat and lungs. Even as I slept, this copious mucus continued to be released.

My friends and sister continued to cook for me. It was an uphill climb. My lungs filed with fluid- My left lung collapsed and spontaneous fractures developed in several ribs. I was admitted to the hospital with dehydration- There were days that I didn't think I could continue. But my family and friends continued to cook and encourage me. They gave me massages/ prayed, and shared their lives. Ten months on the macrobiotic diet; exactly one year from my diagnosis, I was tumor free.

There were several positive side effects of practicing macrobiotic. The migraine headaches I suffered from for over 20 years were now gone. The Joint pain in my knees and ankles, which I attributed to playing tennis and growing old, disappeared. My restless nights of sleep and waking to go to the bathroom became a thing of the past.

My physicians were amazed at my recovery. At the hospital, the Tumor Board met to compare the new scans with my originals and couldn't believe they were taken of the same person.

It has now been three and a half years since my cancer was originally diagnosed. I am completing Level III of the macrobiotic Career Training Program at the Kushi Institute in Becket. I continue a macrobiotic lifestyle and teach other survivors the importance of taking responsibility for their healing. One of the oncologists who originally opposed me is now referring his patients to me for dietary advice and guidance. Without God, my family, friends, physician, and this beautiful lifestyle, I know I would not be alive today.